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THE PARIS WAR REPORT.

By FREDERICK H. MARTENS.


THEY claim the Austrian emperor, while on his way to court,

Was swooped upon and captured by an English aeronaut;

The sewer rats of Paris, trained by German spies, they say,

The secret passages within the Paris forts betray.

The Russian government declares all caviar contraband

Because it eggs the Prussians on Russian soil to land.

You’ll see that Denmark is distressed, if at the news you glance,

For Germans shoot the Danish babes who’re crying “Vive la France!”

And seven Prussian regiments every now and then

Yield to a Belgian captain and his score of gallant men.

In Alsace such the people’s joy to think of their release

They’re tearing down the boundary-posts to burn the Reichs-Police.

The Black Hole of Calcutta takes a seat way in the rear

According to the war report that’s dinned into our ear:

A British gunboat, built to hold a score or so of crew

Brings in three hundred prisoners.   “Tis Paris news” hence true.

There’s not a German cruiser steams that’s not already sunk,

There’s not a Belgian but will drive ten German’s in a funk.

There’s not a Frenchman who appears upon a battleground

But what at once the Prussian dead lie scattered all around.

And if the Germans are not whipped in war’s grim battle-court.

They’ll have been licked at any rate, in the Paris war report.



Martens, Frederick H. “The Paris War Report.” The Fatherland 1, no. 8 (September 30, 1914): 14.


Martens, Frederick H. “The Paris War Report.” The Fatherland 1, no. 8 (September 30, 1914): 14.

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Austrian emperor

Franz Joseph I (1830–1916), Emperor of Austria (1848–1916) and King of Hungary (1867–1916).


Höbelt, Lothar. “Francis Joseph I, Emperor of Austria.” In 1914-1918-online. International Encyclopedia of the First World War, edited by Ute Daniel, Peter Gatrell, Oliver Janz, Heather Jones, Jennifer Keene, Alan Kramer, and Bill Nasson. Freie Universität Berlin, 2014–. Article published March 27, 2015. https://encyclopedia.1914-1918-online.net/article/francis_joseph_i_emperor_of_austria.

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Prussians on Russian soil

With the largest standing army in Europe, Russia hoped for a quick victory against German forces in East Prussia. Fighting at Stallupönen on August 17, the opening battle on the Eastern Front, left the Germans in retreat; the battle at Gumbinnen on August 20 had the same result. The Battle of Tannenberg (August 26–30), however, was a major victory for the Germans: the Russian Second Army had not been forced to retreat, “it had been annihilated.”1 During the first Russian invasions of East Prussia, 1,491 East Prussians died: they were executed, victims of plunder-related killings, or killed in massacres. The scale of violence was “no different than that of the more famous contemporaneous atrocities in Belgium and France.”2


1Stone, David R. The Russian Army in the Great War: The Eastern Front, 1914–1917. Lawrence, KS: University Press of Kansas, 2015, 75.

2Watson, Alexander. Ring of Steel: Germany and Austria–Hungary in World War I: The People’s War. United Kingdom: Basic Books, 2014, 171.


Dowling, Timothy C. “Eastern Front.” In 1914–1918–online: International Encyclopedia of the First World War, edited by Ute Daniel, Peter Gatrell, Oliver Janz, Heather Jones, Jennifer Keene, Alan Kramer, and Bill Nasson. Freie Universität Berlin, 2014–. Article published October 8, 2014. https://encyclopedia.1914-1918-online.net/article/eastern_front.

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Denmark

Christian X, King of Denmark (1870–1947) issued a message on August 1, 1914, declaring Denmark’s intent to remain neutral. Danish diplomatic activity necessarily focused on Germany, however, and the country submitted to German demands that it lay mine fields in the straits between Jutland and the island of Funen, for example.


Sørensen, Nils Arne. “Denmark.” In 1914–1918–online. International Encyclopedia of the First World War, edited by Ute Daniel, Peter Gatrell, Oliver Janz, Heather Jones, Jennifer Keene, Alan Kramer, and Bill Nasson. Freie Universität Berlin, 2014–. Article published October 8, 2014. https://encyclopedia.1914-1918-online.net/article/denmark.

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Belgian captain

On August 2, Germany gave Belgium an ultimatum, demanding that German troops marching to France be allowed right of passage. Belgium refused, and the next day Germany invaded with overwhelming force. King Albert I declared the country at war on August 3. In the battle over the 12 forts surrounding the city of Liège, Belgian forces held off German troops for eleven days.


De Schaepdrijver, Sophie. “Belgium.” In 1914–1918–online. International Encyclopedia of the First World War, edited by Ute Daniel, Peter Gatrell, Oliver Janz, Heather Jones, Jennifer Keene, Alan Kramer, and Bill Nasson. Freie Universität Berlin, 2014–. Article published July 18, 2018. https://encyclopedia.1914-1918-online.net/article/belgium.

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Alsace

In 1914, the Western Front ran between the Rhine River and the Vosges Mountains in the borderland Alsace–Lorraine, former French departments that had been annexed by the German Empire in 1871. The battles of Sarrebourg and Morhange in August 1914 destroyed parts of Lorraine.


Vlossak, Elizabeth. “Alsace-Lorraine “ In 1914–1918–online. International Encyclopedia of the First World War, edited by Ute Daniel, Peter Gatrell, Oliver Janz, Heather Jones, Jennifer Keene, Alan Kramer, and Bill Nasson. Freie Universität Berlin, 2014–. Article published October 21, 2016. https://encyclopedia.1914-1918-online.net/article/alsace-lorraine

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Black Hole of Calcutta

A prison in Calcutta in which 146 British soldiers were said to have been confined in a single narrow cell by Siraj-ud-Dawlah, nawab of Bengal, on June 20, 1756. Only 23 are thought to have survived until morning.


Delahunty, Andrew, and Sheila Dignen. “Black Hole of Calcutta.” In A Dictionary of Reference and Allusion. Oxford University Press, 2010. https://www.oxfordreference.com/view/10.1093/acref/9780199567454.001.0001/acref-9780199567454-e-254.

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British gunboat

In 1914 the British Royal Navy was the largest in the world. Most naval operations were between Great Britain and Germany, in the North Sea and the Atlantic Ocean.


Osborne, Eric W. “Naval Warfare.” In 1914-1918-online. International Encyclopedia of the First World War, edited by Ute Daniel, Peter Gatrell, Oliver Janz, Heather Jones, Jennifer Keene, Alan Kramer, and Bill Nasson. Freie Universität Berlin, 2014–. Article published October 8, 2014.

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